ED O'NEILL, RICO RODRIGUEZ, SOFIA VERGARA, NOLAN GOULD, JULIE BOWEN, ARIEL WINTER, TY BURRELL, SARAH HYLAND, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON, ERI STONESTREET

This is a story of five almost-alive things and their literally intertwined life.  The characters of the story are inseparable part of our day-to-day life. But this is not about our relationship with them but their mutual relationships. So let’s see how the story unfolds.

The protagonist of the story is ‘Mobile’.  He is supremely cool and not just because of his looks but he can also sing songs, is an amazing photographer, coolest wing man and an awesome buddy to hang out with. Mobile lives his life as if it is the last day of his life.  He has a commitment phobia and hence is single since ever.  But there is someone who has a big crush on him – ‘Battery’, his neighbor. They grew up together but Mobile always treated her like a friend. Whereas Battery used to get really heated up when someone touched Mobile unnecessarily or talked for long hours with him. Battery was never able to express her love for Mobile because of her fear of the society: Mobile was from upper class whereas Battery was from lower class and stayed in covers mostly.

So Battery decided to stay friends with Mobile and wait for the things to happen on their own. It is not like she was alone or something. She had other good friends as well and one of them was ‘Data-Cable’. Battery was a bit jealous of Data-Cable though as latter had a very good figure and had lots of talents unlike battery who was really insecure about her weight and size. Data-Cable used to visit Battery almost daily – sometimes even twice a day if Battery was feeling a bit down. Despite their little differences, they were like besties.

Data-Cable has an elder brother as well. His name is ‘Charger’. He is strong and powerful and has a connection with a lot in Mobile’s friend list. They hang out together all the time. His sister Data-Cable introduced him to Battery as well. Initially they were just friends but Charger’s bonding with Battery started increasing. He proposed one night to Battery when the light was dim and Battery was really down after her fight with Mobile. They made out for about an hour but she really regretted it later on. Battery and Charger stopped talking in the nights and met just in the day times and that too for formal greetings. This really improved the health of Battery as the full night talks with Charger were really affecting her health.

Now there was a lull in the environment and everyone was just going with the flow in life. Mobile crossed his half-life and was not in a mood to get settled even now. He often had a fight about this with his parents. Battery decided to opt for the arrange marriage as she wasn’t really successful in love. Data-Cable decided to marry to Laptop and became a housewife. Charger was still hopeful that he might be able to reconcile with Battery once again someday.
Now enters ‘Power Bank’ into the picture.  He is a NRI and has studied advanced technology in China. He is a charmer and became everyone’s favorite in the town as soon as he arrived. One night he was hanging in the bar with Mobile and came in touch with Battery there. They had an instant spark, a connection where Battery heard playing of guitar in the background and she had never felt so alive in last so many years. Both really enjoyed each other’s company so much that they decided to marry.

Charger and Mobile started spending some time together and used to talk about old days and how Battery was an integral part of their lives. At some level they clicked and started liking each other too. After some time, they even started having doubts if they were really heterosexuals! But further is a story for some other time. And as they say – “All is well that ends well.”

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आँखों के सागर

Posted: January 2, 2015 in Poems

2012-08-10 22.58.54

कुछ  अधूरी  पंक्तियाँ  हैं
जिन्हे  पिरोने  जा  रहा  हूँ
गाना  आता  नहीं  है  मुझे
पर फिर भी  गुनगुनाने  जा  रहा  हूँ

कलम  में  मेरे  सियहि
कम  नहीं  है  फिर  भी
जो  कहना  चाहता  हूँ
शायद  वह  लिख  नहीं  पा रहा  हूँ

कहीं  तो  सुन्दर  सा  एक  दृश्य  है
जिसकी  कल्पना  किये  जा  रहा  हूँ
कहीं  सपना  तो  नहीं  हो
आँखें  खोलने  से  घबरा  रहा  हूँ

जब  सुनने-सुनाने  का  दौर  था
तब  से  ही  कतरा  रहा हूँ
पता  है  वक़्त कम  है  अब, पर  बात  क्या  करूँ !
आँखों  को  ही  निहारे  जा  रहा  हूँ

चिराग  की  भुजती  लौ  को  कुछ  बूँद  और  तेल  की  मिल  जाये,
बस  अब  यही  दुआ  है
तो  आँखों  में  बसा  लूँ  तुम्हे
अंतिम  अलविदा  है…

Is movie outing meant to be a group/couple activity? I believe most of the people will say – yes. Hence you can hardly see a single (loner) going for a movie! But I really appreciate the option of ‘riding solo’ from BookMyShow. 🙂 In metro cities like Gurgaon, where people don’t have many options of outdoor activities, movies ‘n’ meal form the most viable combo.

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Well, I, on the other hand, enjoy watching movie by myself or in company of people who don’t give a live commentary. So a few days back, I went alone to see a movie from which I had huge expectations. As it was second week of the movie and a bit odd time, so not many people were there in the show – around 40% occupancy in the smaller hall. First mistake I did was to get the seat in the back rows – where there were people (chatterboxes).

Anyway I really enjoy the trailers shown before beginning of movies. And till this time one should get settled down (ideally). So there were two couples sitting on either side of me – young one on the left, and old one on the right. Now the movie started. Uncle from the old couple was analyzing the movie critically and passed a few comments once in a while (but not very loud) – bearable. On the other hand, the girl from the young couple was constantly commenting on each and every scene. It was like listening to a live commentary of a cricket match from the female version of Navjot Singh Sidhu. She was the dominant force and for every five things she said, the guy responded with one. I somehow resisted it till intermission.

Generally I say these miscreants directly to lower their voices. But wanted to try something different this time. 😀 Hence I set my mobile brightness  setting to maximum and held it in my hand in such a way that it was directly pointing towards them. 😛 Now after 5-6 seconds only, the guy asked me if I could lower the mobile. And I replied – “If only you could lower your voices”. And Bingo!! He felt embarrassed and did not say anything. After that, the entire time he did not utter a word. Whereas the girl also lost a bit of enthusiasm as he was not responding to her. So I guess the trick worked. 🙂 Now I don’t know if I liked the second half of movie because there was no disturbance or because it was actually better than the first one.

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Did I just see an adult movie featuring Hrithik Roshan and Katrina Kaif! Well the name was Bang Bang. And I assure you that the crowd definitely makes one feel at home – literally.

Broadly classifying, there are 3 type of movie halls running in this country – Multiplex, Single Screen theaters and the third ones arguably just play the same movies with different titles. Nowadays multiplex culture is thriving in small town as well. My town Hisar is no stranger to it and has a multiplex but with just 2 screens. But these small town multiplex are more similar to the single screen theaters than the city multiplex. Again the crowd makes you feel this difference too.

Firstly you have a very limited options of movies available here – no “English” or so called “Arts/Boring” movie is screened here. Secondly you can not book a ticket online; however, they claim that one can and they have a dedicated website for this as well. But when you open this page, you can find a few random drop-downs and radio buttons floating here and there. Whereas city multiplex have underground parking space and associated issues, these small town multiplex have no parking space dearth; in fact, I found 3 convenient parking areas near Suncity Mall in our town – two were in direct competition as shown below and third one had just one board “Free Parking”. Probably the third one sounds a bit fishy to everyone as I can hardly see any car parked there despite it being a huge free parking space.

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Here ‘Guard 1’ and ‘Guard 2’ are pointing in different directions and you really can’t decide where to go if you are coming here for the first time.

Next, if you are lucky to get a ticket then you are in treat for some old socks smell, which is really omnipresent in the hall. But luckily one gets immune to it soon before one dies. TIP: Don’t go out in the intermission else you will loose this immunity and have to start afresh.

Now the movie starts and you realize the you are not watching movie with just fellow cinema-goers but a whole theater filled with hardcore fans. They whistle, they clap and some over enthusiastic ones dance as well. But the best thing is their comments (generally lewd) and the timing of those comments. Some of those occasions are the following: Hero’s entry (always), Heroine’s entry (depends on what she is wearing), a kissing scene, a double meaning joke, a sexist comment, heroine wearing short/revealing dress, hero and heroine doing any intimate scene (which ironically includes hugging as well), any patriotic moment, when villain is beaten or made fun of (basically the trash talk before the hero beats villain), and last but not the least – an item number. Did I say that no one puts their phone on silent here and to receive a phone is mandatory once you are inside the hall. Needless to say, you have to be very open minded and tolerant if you want to see a movie here specially if you are looking for a family outing. Well Bang Bang was full of such moments and the crowd loved them all.

It is not like I am seeing a movie in such a place for the first time but I always used to curse the crowd each time I was there (howsoever rare). Just this time I had an epiphany that it could be fun watching such brainless movies (dimaag ghar rakh ke aao types) in these halls. The crowd surely adds more to the fun if you consider them a part of the whole movie experience as well! 🙂

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I never imagined that buying a car would be the toughest decision of my life. Well it all started long back in 2005-2006 when I was studying in a college in Chandigarh. People generally wish that one day they have a Audi, BMW or Mercedes in their possession. Though even having three cars is not that uncommon in the rich city of Chandigarh. Like most of the middle class families, our first family car was supposed to be Maruti and indeed it was one as well. But my aspiration never was to own one of those long sedans running on the streets of Chandigarh (neither a landi jeep). In fact I never imagined during those times that I will ever get to own a car.

But one day while I was strolling into the nearby sector market with a friend, I came across a red color car – the type which I never came across earlier. It zoomed past us and I wasn’t even able to see the company logo as I was just focussing on the looks. My friend told me that it is a car launched by Maruti sometime back named Swift to which I said – “Shut Up dude. They don’t make sporty cars like this”. My response was derived from the fact that they used to make most primitive designed cars such as Maruti 800, Alto, WagonR, Zen etc. But as roaming on that route was a routine, I came across the Swift again soon and the first time the thought of owning a car came to my mind – I thought this has to be my first car.

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But as we all know, what happens in the college stays in the college. Soon life was much more (or rather less) than the college routes and thoughts as I landed in the Millennium city of Gurgaon. Whereas Chandigarh is a horizontally planned city, Gurgaon is a vertically (un)planned city. And here I got a first chance to stay in the multi-rise apartment as well on the IFFCO Chowk. This MG Road area is considered to be one of the most visited area of the Gurgaon as it was where the Mall culture of the city started. It has many showrooms of the variety of car brands such as BMW, Hyundai, Ford, Volkswagen etc. But what caught my attention was the another masterclass designed car by Honda – Jazz. It was probably the first in the small segment of cars by Honda which used to produce sedans like City, Civic and Accord earlier. Though everyone was gaga over the big ones (City being one of the bestsellers in its segment even now), I wanted the smaller one – Jazz. As it was too costly for a fresher in the job and I did not want to take help from my parents, I decided to wait a couple of years and then make this baby mine.

Prevalent talk in the market is that Honda is known for its petrol engine and that its diesel engines are not good and also that Jazz looks more like a chic car (whatever that means). Whenever I visualize cars engine in my mind, I see them as the piston and cylinder that we used to have in the Physics problems. And here the petrol one goes up and down smoothly and seamlessly whereas the diesel one with broken piston operating in a rusted cylinder and making that guzzling “grrrr..” sound every-time it goes up and down. Hence it was always clear in mind that I do not want a diesel engine car.

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Those couple of years planned wait turned into too long of a time as every year there was not only a new car launched in the market but a new car making company as well. Besides the above stated, Hyundai i20, Volkswagen Polo, Renault Duster and Ford Eco-sport also managed to catch my eye. We all know the obvious parameters for buying a car such as price, engine, brand, mileage, comfort, performance, service ,interiors, resale, waiting time etc. But one additional parameter for me was that the car should not be extremely common. Hence buying a Maruti was out of the picture as every other car on the road is from Maruti (exaggerated picture). Here goes my first love – Swift.

Now I was standing at the cusp of 5 years after college and the equal number of industry experience. I had discussed about buying a car so many times and with so many people that now everyone used to take it lightly and in a fun manner as if they knew that I was not going to buy it ever. Meanwhile most of my friends were posting a pic on fb with their new car almost daily now. It was second only to the post of my batch-mates getting married. Anyway I finally decided to close this chapter once and for all and here two factors came to my rescue: a) my habit of staying in the comfort zone and b) my emotional nature. As the saying goes – your first love is the most special and the rest are just after that.
So here I am – Proud owner of the Maruti Suzuki Swift.

PS: It is a work of “fiction” and the writer doesn’t take the responsibility of the mentioned facts. Any familiarity with the real life situation is just co-incidental.

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The panel consisted of two and a half interviewers – an amiable male professor (P1) and a gullible looking female professor (P2). Probably it was intended not to take any stress interviews. Hence only they were extremely patient and welcoming. The third professor was direct and entered mid-way the interview. Hence I counted him as a half only (P2.5) but his questions disturbed me and left me sleepless for that night at least.

The process at IIFT consists of a WAT (essay writing), GD and then PI. The best thing which might have happened in this whole process was that I was the first person to be interviewed. Not that I would have asked the candidates going before me anything but the sight of other candidates flogging the person coming out disturbs me. I like un-influenced, un-opinionated encounters. Probably that is why I prefer watching any movie on the first weekend of release itself, if not the very first day.

GD:

But even better was the set up in the Group Discussion. There were 10 candidates in total and I was sitting in one of the corners of the semi circle. IIFT has a very unique process of conducting a GD where they give each candidate a certain time (1.5 min – 2 min) in the beginning to put forward their points and then the house is open for discussion for 15-20 minutes depending on where the ship is heading. But the scary part was that they did not tell us which corner they will use to start the discussion. So I had to be prepared with obvious (if I had to begin it) as well as not so obvious points (if all the points get dried up before my turn comes up). The topic given to us was quite interesting at which most of the people were able to speak at least something – “Should Asian Union be formed on the lines of European Union?

Luck favored me and they asked me to start the discussion. I stated all the points I had written on my rough sheet. Before going in, I rehearsed in my mind to write all the points in a proper bullet points or some order of importance so that I can sneak a peek easily when (not if) required. When the GD was over, I had points mentioned all over the paper (glad just one side) with some covered in elliptical clouds, some underlined, some with bullets and rest swimming in between others. Total opposite of what I had imagined. My stance was against the union and so were my 85% of the points. I gave a few in favor as well after listening to all the other nine participants. The GD open phase lasted for around 20 minutes and it was a very healthy discussion with most of us contributing and without making it a fish market. This was a truly morale booster for me as this was the first time in my life that I put forward my points with conviction – I interjected others, I silenced others by raising my voice, I listened to them, I did whatever I think I could never do. In the end they asked three of the silent ones to summarize. As I entered around 4-5 times during the discussion, hence I was not one of them. But when they asked in the end if anyone else wants to summarize then I volunteered.

Written Aptitude Test:  

Here I scored median marks I guess or near about 50 percentile (54.07 marks) in the called students list for the WAT/GD/PI round.

Essay:

The essay topic was “Free and Compulsory Child Education: Issues and Implications”. I did pretty well here (I think) as I had some clarity on the topic with some stats upfront in my mind. I finished the essay in 10 minutes itself i.e. 5 minutes before the designated time.

Interview:

Note: Just sharing the brief overview and not the detailed version. This is partly because I don’t want to bore you and party because I can’t recall my exact answers.

[P1]: Hi Tarun. Tell us something about yourself.

[Me]:  Gave the standard answer which I prepared.

[P2]: What is this ‘Netcool’?

[Me]:  A lot of my friends have asked this question in the past. I know it sounds funny but I was prepared for this answer and gave a brief description to them about what I do and this tool.

[P1]: Which one do you like more between IBM and Ericsson? And why?

[Me]: Told them I like Ericsson more. I divided the answer between personal and professional satisfaction. As I was a bit harsh on IBM, so I gave a few points in its favour as well.

[P1]: Since you are from IT background, what do you think is India’s position in the world in IT and BPO field? Is it going to change in the coming future?

[Me]: Here I compared India and China. I said India’s position is safe in the near future stating a few facts.

[P1]: Tell us any other country which can pose challenge to India? We mean Asian country.

[Me]: Here I was not very sure. Hence I just guessed South Korea. I even sang a song about Samsung’s greatness. Later on some people pointed out that I could have said Philippines.

[P1]: Since you are an athlete, tell us what is the issue between IOC and IOA? Be precise.

[Me]: From where did they get an idea that I am an athlete! I mentioned a few things about my participation in certain sports events in school and college in my CV form. Fortunately I was familiar with the topic and told them everything I knew.

[P1]: What is the recent news on it?

[Me]: Told them about Sochi Olympics and the recently held elections in IOA and other things. I forgot to mention about Srinivasan’s brother being selected as a chief here and this particularly was what he wanted to hear.

[P1]: What is your opinion about ongoing political affairs in Delhi?

[Me]: Here I was comfortable enough as I have been following it from quite some time now. Hence I gave a two minute extempore here.

[P1]: Do you think it is because they have little or no administration experience?

[Me]: Again I gave a 40 second idealistic speech here.

[P2]: How do you rate the Manmohan Singh?

[Me]:  I told them I have different opinions about him as a PM and as an Economist or Finance Minister.

[P2]: Rate him as a Prime Minister and give your reasons why.

[Me]: I gave him 3/5. Then I explained everything what has been wrong in our system from last 10 years under UPA1 and UPA2.

[P1]: Which is the topmost problem that India is facing currently?

[Me]: I said Inflation and gave all the stats I could recall from RBI’s monetary policy to government fiscal policy.

[P1]: What other major problems beside Inflation?

[Me]: I mentioned Policy Paralysis and coalition government and explained in detail. Here I should have mentioned about Corruption as well and probably that is what they wanted to hear as they did not continue more on this.

At this juncture, P2.5 enters while I was answering the question.

[P2.5]: Tell us why do you want to do MBA from IIFT?

[Me]: Parroted the answer I prepared for this question.

[P2.5]: Ok. Let’s talk about trade then. What is the difference between International trade and International business?

[Me]: Thinking hard and fast, I took around 5-7 seconds and all I could come up with was ‘Ummmm…’

[P2.5]: You know about WTO?

[Me]: Yes Sir. World Trade Organization and before I could say anything else he began again..

[P2.5]: Why is it not called World Business Organization?

[Me]: I dived into my Sherlock type zone…. 1-2-3-4-5 seconds… and I came out empty handed..

[P2.5]: Well no issues. So you are from Hisar and you have done your graduation from Chandigarh. Tell us something about Chd?

[Me]: It has been rated as the cleanliest city of India from past many years now and… but here he intervened again.

[P2.5]: Who designed it?

[Me]: As I was not able to answer last few ques., so I stumbled at the easiest one. Ummmm…

[P2.5]: Lee Corbusier

[Me]: Yes. Lee Corbusier

[P1, P2, and P2.5]: After looking at each other, Ok we are done. Thanks Tarun.

[Me]: Thank you.

Just after leaving the interview room, I was feeling good that I have done decent enough today. But now I am not that sure. Hence I wait for the results now…

#########################

Result: – I got into IIFT Kolkata Campus in the first wait-list but will probably miss the Delhi Campus by a very small margin.

Day 1:

Sec 14, Gurgaon. My bike was stolen here today. Or probably yesterday. Pulsar 180 cc, Black, 2009 model. I got it serviced last week and got it filled with Rs 400 fuel then as well. The initial line itself states that I did not pay much attention to my bike for last couple of days. But when I noticed its absence today, my heart started pounding very fast. I tried to control my emotions by saying to myself that you are 27 year old now, hence you should try to behave in a normal manner. But the more I tried the worse it got.

Then I pressed the panic button and did what any sane man will do. I inquired about it from my flat mates, neighbors and landlord. But as obvious, no one saw anything. I called my parents back home and told them in my torn voice that I lost it. This is significant and not at the same time. They have warned and advised me a number of times that I should park my bike inside the house and not outside the gate. Hence it was very difficult to tell them that I again parked it outside. But it was sort of expected from me as well from the history of losses that have happened to me in the past. I have lost a laptop, a bag full of daily stuff, some cash, apparels etc in the past as well. Though not all this can be credited to me.

Now comes the most basic and essential thing to do. To get an FIR filed with the police. I have never been a big fan of our police system. In fact I believe they are one of the most corrupt of all the officials. This I am saying from a couple of my past encounters with them. Anyway I need the FIR to claim for the insurance. Before even going to the station, I was sure I will face the issue of bribing. While walking towards there I was thinking what I should do when (not if) they ask for it. The whole moral stand I take on the social networking sites came in front of my mind at that time. I somehow decided that I will not pay any bribe.

At the police station, one personnel dictated me the whole application word by word and I had to write it in Hindi. Believe me it was not easy after all these 11 years since 10th class. Anyway as soon as I wrote an application and submitted it to the police personal, he said “ispe kuch wajan rakho”. At that moment I tried to be witty but don’t know if I was. I instantly returned his pen (which I used for writing the application) saying “Yeh lijiye aapka pen, isme bahut wajan hota hai.” (“The power of pen” – Old Saying)  Yeh baat par hawa mein hi nikal gayi. Then he came to my place to do the basic investigation. When I asked him about the FIR, he said “jo baat pehle kahi thi who dekh lena” and that I should come in the evening to collect the FIR from police station. Now he calls me up after a couple of hours to inform that they have started the search for my bike. I told him that I want my bike and not the insurance money. At this he said “hum poori koshish karenge bas aap pehle jo baat ki thi woh dekh lena.” I did not comment anything on this. Now it was around 7 pm and I went to the police station as he had instructed to me on the phone. When I reached there, I asked him a few basic things such as how they do the investigation, what are the chances etc. He said that generally they trace around 80% bikes and rest 20% they can’t trace. Again now when I asked for the FIR, he said come tomorrow as they don’t even have a computer here and that this was just a Chowki. The police station is in different sector (15A). I dejectedly agreed and turned towards my home. I went ahead just a couple of steps when he called me from behind “who jo din mein baat ki thi dekh lena.” I said “yaad hi hai sir, kal baat karte hain.”

Now I wait for tomorrow!

The story shall continue… (Suggestions and Comments are welcome)

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Day 2:
A better day than yesterday. Two thoughts were there in my mind before going to the police chowki. One was to wear the Aam Aadmi cap and other was to make a sting. But I decided against both these notions. Instead I prepared myself to reason with them if required and to audio record the whole conversation.

When I reached there, I found a lady head constable (HC) who was looking into some proceedings. There a maid was filing a case against her landlady, so I waited for a minute. Then I told her that I am here to collect a FIR as instructed to me over phone by another HC who was looking into the case. She pulled the FIR out of her desk but was reluctant to give it to me. She told me to contact that HC over phone so that she can confirm it. But when I tried, his number was unreachable/switched off. She was adamant that she wont give it without talking to that HC. When I pleaded, she adviced me to talk to SHO and take his approval. I did the same and he gave the approval instantly. I was pleasantly surprised by this. He just mentioned instead of getting it photocopied why don’t I click a pic using my phone (with which recording was going on). I said camera is no good and ran to the shop to get its xerox. When I returned the original, she said “dekha aapka kaam banva diya na, warna lagate rehte chakkar“.

In the end, it was an experience like any other but it re-established my faith in humanity and that not everyone is corrupt here. It is our responsibility as well that how well we handle the situation.

PS: I don’t know if I just reduced my chances of getting the bike traced. I guess I will never know.

 

Day 53 (FR):

FYI – For claiming the insurance, one not just needs a FIR but a FR (Final Report/No Trace Report) as well. So I visited the “Chowki” where I registered the FIR and they redirected me to the nearby “Thana” under which this Chowki comes. As I had no conveyance now, I hired an Auto and told the driver to wait outside the “Thana“. I did not even pay him as I assumed that I will be going back in 5 minutes after collecting the FR. Also in return ticket I was saving 20 bucks.

Now inside the “Thana“, I contacted one Munshi Ji and showed him my FIR copy and told him that I am here to collect the “No Trace Copy” for the loss of my bike. As he was doing something at that time, he did not even respond to what I said but after a couple of minutes, he looked at me and told me to wait outside. Meanwhile there were two more guys there to file an FIR. One lost his wallet and the other his passbook. Munshi Ji was already hands full and now he was showing the signs of irritation by these additional requests. Meanwhile two other cases came to him. One was of a thief who was caught and brought there. The second one was very interesting. There was one Lok Sabha candidate asking for the police security. Police was not treating him with much respect and were asking silly and funny questions as he was not any biggie. He used to sell “Pav Bhaji” for living and he claimed he has been contesting the elections from last 15 years and that he secured 7th rank out of 24 candidates from Gurgaon constituency last time with 2500 votes.

In between all this, I paid the Auto Driver because I knew by then that it is going to be a long day. (which will cost me an extra 20 bucks eventually)

After observing all the above events for 15-20 minutes, I requested the Munshi Ji to look into my case. He saw my FIR copy and said that it will take some time and that I should sit outside and not stand on their heads. I went out and sat on the bench outside. There were two cells immediately behind the bench and they were stinking of urine/waste. The thief was also jailed inside one of these cells. So I got up and started strolling. There was one innocent looking constable there and I requested him to help me. He took my FIR copy and went to the woman constable and confirmed that my FR was ready. But the women constable could not give it to me without orders from the Munshi Ji. Everyone was calling each other “Janab” and I caught the lingo too. I requested the constable to help me but he said that as Munshi is Muslim and lady constable Hindu, so they do not get well enough.

Now I again went to Munshi Ji and requested again. He said come in the evening as they were all busy. I said I can not come again due to my other commitments in the office and that it wont take much time to provide me the FR. Then he said that we can not do anything and that I should go. Here I pleaded “please sir de do na“. After some pleading, he called another officer and asked him to look into my case. This new officer took my FIR and asked me to come nearby room. There he said that FR is not given to the complainant but to the Insurance company as they have a tie up with police and that they pay the police some fees. Now I was smelling the obvious. I said that it is not true and I know the procedure. He said if you can pay the fees then he will give the FR to me in a minute. I said I can’t pay any fees and I went back to Munshi Ji. But now Munshi as well as this officer were very furious with me. They told me that they do not even have my FR and that I should go out from the “Thana” now. They also said that my FR has been forwarded to the Court now and that I should collect it from there only. I said that I know that police keeps one copy with themselves. At this they got more furious and became more rude and blamed me for calling them a liar. The officer showed me a register with my FIR entry and told me, “See, this FR is not here and has been forwarded to the court. If you want the proof then I can give it to you in written. In fact I can give you a blank signed paper and that you can write anything you want on that.”

Now again I pleaded them to help. I also told them that just now they said that my FR is there and that they can give it to me in a minute and now they are claiming that it is in the court. At this, the Munshi Ji said, “Kon hai yeh bhai, kahan ka hai tu?, hisar ka, ja bhai yahan se, hamein fasvayega kya, kahan na ki kuch ni ho sakta, tere ko toh baat bhi ni karni aati, padha likha hoke samajh ni raha ki kya keh rahe hain tujhe.” At this I said, “padha likha hun sir isiliye sab samajh raha hun.” Now the lady constable interfered and called me to her seat. The other officer was also standing there and they were discussing something while I was talking to the Munshi. He cursed me with few things and started looking for my file and handed me the FR. The lady constable asked me If I had any conveyance and I said that I came on an auto but it left. I knew that she wanted me to get the photocopy of FR, so I took the original from there and ran towards the market and after some 15 minutes came back there. Now I just needed the stamp on this xerox copy and I sensed the victory so near. But poor me, at this junction there came another critical case. A lady who ran away from her home last day came to the police station to register some complaint. She was from some influential background as everyone was catering to her now. Not like earlier they were paying much attention towards me. But after waiting for some more time, the officer came back and did my remaining work. I thanked him and was leaving slowly from the room. He called me and said, “Fees nahi dega phir tu.” In response, I folded my hands and thanked him again with the sheepish smiling face. I don’t know why but while doing this I bended a little as well. This whole process took me around 3 hours. Thank God I did not ask the auto driver to wait.

When everyone should get their police work done without paying any bribe, I don’t know why I was feeling victorious. I ran to the auto stop like Rohan ran away from his father in the climax of “Udaan” movie. But was it a one-off incident (getting an FIR/FR without paying bribe)? Will they treat me any more badly next time (if that is possible)? I don’t know yet and I hope I don’t need to find it out either.

Bounty Hunter

Posted: January 29, 2014 in Personal
Tags: , ,

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  1. Dr. King Schultz: Do you know what a bounty hunter is?
  2. Django: You kill people and then they give you a reward?
  3. Dr. King Schultz: Badder they are, bigger the reward.

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I am sure a lot of you would have heard about the Facebook Bug Bounty program.
Well if you haven’t then read the brief below:

“Facebook Security’s Bug Bounty program provides recognition and compensation to security researchers practicing responsible disclosure.”

  • Our minimum reward is $500 USD
  • There is no maximum reward: each bug is awarded a bounty based on its severity and creativity
  • Only 1 bounty per security bug will be awarded

Since reading this, my optimistic nature is propelling my sub-conscious mind that yes, you can win it son. 😀

Note: I don’t know any damn thing about security despite being a computer science engineer and an IT professional from more than 4 years. 😦

But I tried and will keep on trying until I win the bounty. 🙂

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Past Attempts:

1.) Tarun

Description and Impact: Hi. This issue concerns about the integrity of an individual. Currently in Facebook, one can like the post of another individual and this like continues to exist even if the post is modified later on.

For Ex: User1 posts “I love my country” and User2 clicks like. Now User1 edits the post to “I hate this country and I bombed the World Trade Center”. The like of User2 is still there and suggests his involvement.

This is a big security issue as the Facebook is being used in almost every country these days, where these countries have their own unique laws.
For Ex: In India, one daily hears a news of an arrest of person based on his/her comments and likes on the Facebook.

I hope this security impacting feature can be rectified specially from India’s perspective.

FB Response:

This is intentional behavior in our product. We do not consider it a security vulnerability, but we do have controls in place to monitor and mitigate abuse. 😦

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2.) Tarun:

Description and Impact: Time to time (probably based on some algorithm) Facebook suggests some pages for the user to like under the category “Recommended Pages”. User can either like them or check the cross button to remove them.
But this functionality does not work in the perfect manner. These pages keep on showing back in the “Recommended Pages” even if the user removes (click cross) them.
May be there is some issue with the flagging of the crossed/removed pages.
This gets extremely annoying sometimes for the obvious reasons.
FB Response:

Thank you for sharing this information with us. Although this issue does not qualify as a part of our bounty program we appreciate your report. We will follow up with you on any security bugs or with any further questions we may have. 😦

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3.) Tarun:

Description and Impact: There are certain videos (I have come across only youtube ones till now. Ex: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-paV_MYe0rs) which are being shared on fb by users. Now earlier these videos need to clicked (start) for playing them. But now if one refreshes the page then these videos start playing on their own without user clicking it.
This poses a threat where unwanted and undesirable information can be made accessible to the end users without their consent. This is probably a security bug and needs to be taken care asap.
FB Response:

This is a relatively new feature, not a security hole. 😦

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So, do you want to have a bounty too? Well, put your thinking cap on then 🙂

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1. “Rahul Baba to his GF- Are you ready to become famous after 2014 elections?
GF – Yippie. But how dear?
Rahul Baba – I will say all my energies were going into you and not empowering people. Hence we lost the Lok Sabha election.”

2. “After wasting 500 Crores on Dentsu, Congress to enroll Rahul Baba in Career Launcher PDP program for just Rs 5000.
PS – If he shows his graduation certificate then he will get 50% early bird discount as well.”

3. “A couple of hours ago, Rahul Gandhi’s name also appeared on the Mars-one mission list for a one side trip to mars in 2014.”

4. “Rahul Baba’s biggest achievement – The Oxford dictionary word of the Year 2014 is announced in advance ‘Empower'”

5. “Arnab: Are you ready to lead the country?
Rahul Baba: No, not really. Mama says power is poisonous and even Spiderman says that with great power comes great responsibilities.”

6. “Arnab: Are you an “Aam Aadmi”?
Rahul Baba: Yes, pretty much. Just like any other middle class kid, I can watch Nickelodeon and Pogo only in the summer breaks.”

7. “Madam played queen-side castling to save her shehzada but he did checkmate himself today!”

8. “Rahul Gandhi to feature in the sequel of Ishaqzaade titled ‘Shehzade'”

9. “Rahul Gandhi’s salary still comes in his Piggy-Bank”

10. “Rahul Gandhi’s 5th Class Report Card says “Promoted””

11. “Arnab – Do you watch Comedy Nights with Kapil, Rahul?
RG – Yes. Like everyone else, I love the show. If given a chance, I would love to replace Guthi in it.”

12. “Rahul Baba – Mom, I saw MMS today.
Sonia – Where?
Rahul Baba – In the parliament.
Sonia – You stupid. Did you learn nothing from the porn-gate incident?
Rahul Baba (shyly) – Not that MMS mama. Our PM”

13. “Just after the interview ended, Arnab said “Bazzinga”,  Pappu you became the latest victim of one of my classic practical jokes.”

14. “Breaking News – Pappu and Arnab auditioned for the sequel of Ek aur ek Gyarah.”

15. “RG – Didi, Why do you think everyone has already started blaming me for the loss of 2014 Lok Sabha elections?
Priyanka – Oh! Sorry bro, I am not empowered enough to answer that ques.”

16. “Rahul says that he gave crucial inputs to Aamir Khan for the character of Ishaan in Taare Zameen Par”

17. Rahul Gandhi – “To understand what Rahul Gandhi feels, I will suggest everyone to watch ‘The King’s Speech’ movie. Of course I am speaking in third person but the movie has 8.1 imdb Rating. So enjoy!”

18. “A kid goes to the Fancy Dress Competition in his school dressed up as “Rahul Gandhi”. Teachers disqualifies him for coming simply as a kid.”

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Karigarz

Posted: January 21, 2014 in Personal, Poems
Tags: ,

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जब तू सृष्टि कि रचना करता
तो तू रचनाकार कहलाता

जब तू सब कि रक्षा करता
तो तू पालनहार कहलाता

जब तू विनाश का भार उठाता
तब तू तारनहार कहलाता

जब जन-जन के तू काम बनाता
तब तू कारीगर कहलाता

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Dedicated to my dear friend Ashish Bansal 🙂